| the boy i love
who said i love you not only for the first time, but he said the words first
btw we are not dating
flaked on me again
AGAIN
love the boy he is great we are very different but we complement each other we clash enough to make things interesting but work well together but he is a flake
we make plans and he cant follow through
Not only with me but with everyone!
but even if we cant be together right now i feel like I should have priority right now he is about to leave me 3 years gone
ill move on he will too but I know we will get back at some point, or so i thought
This was the last straw, he promised he wouldn't do this to me again... I switch around my whole day and turned down other things for him and he couldn't for fill.
I think no matter what I feel I have to get over it.
because even though we seem like we fit like cogs
that flaw is something i cant get over...
When i say he flakes I mean... you will have a time and a day and a spot you are supposed to meet and he will be a no show doesn't call and when you ask him what the fuck he acts like it's not a big deal. i think he might be retarded because his friends hate him for this shit too...
it might seem little but when it happens all the time especially when you don't get to see each other often...
it comes off as if he hates me...
thats always what i start thinking. how can you treat someone you like like that. like they are nothing and it doesn't matter what they are doing its on your time schedule
But then he acts and says things and you are like, unless you a conniving asshole you could not say things like that and not mean it.
we have moved apart he dated a girl who looks just like me lol
and i dated a boy that was nothing like him (kinda still in the pic opps)
it hurt when he moved on but i thought it was for the best so i left it alone
Him! no, he flipped... showed up at my house when we were having a party ready to fight my boy calling me saying how could i to this to him
and again he said I love you and first...I do love him but because he hurts me i don't think i could say it to him...
anyway its trauma and drama and i needed to vent to this open space of xanga...
boys who needs they're a confusing mess
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| I try to be this strong girl that wont let a guy change her and make her feel down
Well all was well till they were gone and i find myself changed and feeling REAL down...
FUCK you
Fuck both of you. |
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| i found out one of my friends from highschool had a baby she is married and has the most beautiful child...
i dont normally like chilren but seeing her married and looking so happy with her daughter... its just great. She seems genuinly happy
i have seen too many of my friends in bad relationships or getting married too obviously the wrong people. and i think i just need to see something beautiful like this to give me hope for the future.
love is life. life is love |
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| today we got together and met up and celebrated my friends birthday
it was fun we dressed up really cute and went to dinner and it was good wholesome fun. i had to leave but they are getting together with more people and drinking i was kinda glad to leave cuz i dont like being home and drinking and plus the people showing up where kinda not my type and it didnt seem like fun.
i have more to say but im lazy so peace |
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